Of course, I’ve broken a few hastily made promises along the way, and I suppose that counts as a sort of lie. But generally it’s been the honest path for me. We may not hear what we’d like to hear, but at least it’s the truth. I’m just not a deceitful person, but those little white lies punctuate the relationships many of us have with our children. Invariably told in order to protect, these fibs raise an important question. Who is the real benefactor? Is it the adult, struggling to get out of a awkward spot without squashing those socially acceptable traits that have been so carefully encouraged? Or is it the child, who in all innocence, takes the word of an adult as ‘gospel’ and adjusts course accordingly?
Something to bear in mind about lies, big and small, they have habit of building one on the other with the very real prospect of blossoming into full blown resentment when the child reaches adulthood.
|PHILIP LARKIN (Photo credit: summonedbyfells)|
Although Philip Larkin’s poem, ‘This Be the Verse’, very likely has its roots in his own familial dysfunction – father with Nazi leanings and a highly strung mother – there are certain truths, albeit unpalatable truths, that may resonate with many of us.